only YOU can make YOU happy

Rachel Wilkerson had a post a few days ago regarding women (people?) who think they cannot get a boy(girl)friend because they are over weight. So they lose the weight, because really, it is a good motivator, but once skinny, they still can’t get a guy. Her perspective is maybe it’s your personality.

While I agree to an extent I also believe that YOU are the only person who can make you happy. Happiness is not found in a box of cookies. It’s not found in an ice cream container. It’s not found in buying pretty things, not in spending time with your friends, or seeing a movie, reading a book, or even in finding a boyfriend.

Happiness is found inside you. It’s when everything (or most things) are clicking and you are happy with yourself. Yourself. You are the best friend you will ever have. I mean who else spends 24/7 with you? Who else sees you at your best, your worst, and knows all your dreams and secrets? You.

I’ve always said it is not fair to someone else to ask them to make you happy for the rest of your life; that is your own responsibility. And until you can stand to spend quality time with yourself, why do you want to make other people spend time with you?

Work on yourself (as my wise mother always says). Find hobbies that you enjoy, write down your dreams and fears, spend time alone with yourself (no tv, no music, no distractions) so you can get to know you. Figure out what you want and how you plan to get it. If this includes finding that you would be happier a few pounds lighter, or eating healthier food, or starting to workout, go for it, work on yourself. Then and only then will you be ready for an adult relationship in which you can be an equal partner.

And you and your happy partner can spend time building a happy life for yourselves.

But it always starts with YOU.

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